I just found out the date of my surgery this morning. It's scheduled for Jan. 14th at 7:30 am. I'll need to do the pre-surgery stuff. So far, three appointments. I think that may be all that I will need to go to before hand, but I'm not sure.

I had my appointment with the plastic surgeon last week and I finally made the decision on what kind of reconstruction. I keep second guessing the decisions that I made last week and am fearful that I made the wrong one. There are so many choices out there that it all becomes a bit over-whelming.

As far as a surgery date, I don't have one yet. It seems one doctor is on vacation the week of Christmas and the other the week after Christmas. They are supposed to call me with a date after the staff of both offices get together to figure out a date that both doctors have available. I'll let you all know as soon as it's scheduled.

Otherwise, I'm doing good. I'm just going to enjoy Christmas and my friends and family.

One thing that I'm working on is my weight. The closer to your ideal weight for the reconstruction, the more successful. I started on a diet called, The Flat Belly Diet. So far, I've lost inches and pounds (all in the right places...). And I feel good on the diet. Anyone who needs work in that area, it's a good one. Jim and I are going to start working out together to help it along.

Some of you have asked me how Jim is doing. He's doing well and is so supportive. He has had his down moments as well, but has been a solid rock for me to stand upon. He does have the personality type that just wants to fix it though. This is one thing that he can't fix and this frustrates him.

I hope that you all have a blessed Christmas and you all are able to enjoy your families as well

Kathy

Specific Prayer requests for myself and our family:

• Peace in the decisions I've made
• Courage
• Joy and laughter in the small things
• Good sleep
• That not lean upon my own understanding, but acknowledge God in all my ways
  

Hi all,

I must say that I just love my oncologist, she is such an encouraging woman. I feel that my appointment went really well yesterday and I was able to make a decision on one thing on my list and almost the other.

She said that the right breast looked cancer free and if was closely monitored, there was no reason to worry about it. Since I didn't really want to have a double mastectomy, I've decided this is what I'm going to do. So friends, you will have to put up with me looking a bit lopsided for a while. The reconstruction itself will take about 3-6 months. I feel comfortable with this decision.

The one yippee is, she saw no evidence that the cancer had become invasive. It still looks encased. What has become the problem is that the cancer in one node has traveled about 5 inches up and is on the verge of spreading. So this is the reason for the big push on the surgery.

If the pathologist report confirms that it hasn't become invasive, there is still no need for Chemo.

She also discussed with me the different reconstruction procedures. Although I haven't made the final decision, I think that I know what I want to do. I'm going to talk with the plastic surgeon on Thursday.

Anyway, I guess that wraps up my visit yesterday. Thank you all your encouragement and prayers, I feel so much more up beat about everything. I still need to work on that courage thing a bit. If I think about things too much, my stomach begins to do little flip flops.

Specific prayer requests (by the way...I can feel the prayers working):

• COURAGE
• Peace for myself and my loved ones
• Wisdom for the doctors and myself
• Confidence in the decisions that I'm making
• Continued joy and laughter in the small things

Kathy

Good morning all,

It's six o'clock on Sunday morning. I woke up at four thirty, as I do most days now. Today we will be celebrating my son's birthday and I realize that life goes on. I'm so happy to be doing something other than discussing and reading about cancer. Although, I will need to read on the way to Denver. I have two really big decisions to make this week. It seems like cancer has not only invaded my body, but my life.

Well, some of you already know this, but I received the findings of the MRI on Friday. Of course, it had to be while I was at work and I had a bit of a melt down. I don't know why these things keep knocking me off my feet.

Dr. Dickinson called me from out of town to give me the news. It was discovered that the cancer was invasive. When he told me that the cancer was spread out more than what he had originally thought, I jumped to the conclusion that he meant in more ducts than he thought but it was still noninvasive. When I asked the question, "If he could tell if it had spread to other tissue..." I could tell he was a bit confused, because that was just what he told me. He very kindly told me yes, but it was curable. Then it hit me...

He proceeded to tell me that he needed to move up the surgery date and coordinate with my plastic surgeon to do it as soon as possible. The earliest Dr. Dickinson can do the surgery is during the week after Christmas and is hoping that Dr. Boustred will be able to as well. The beginning stage of reconstruction will begin at the time of the mastectomy.

The good news is that he doesn't think that the cancer has reached the lymph node system yet. Again, that won't be known for sure until after the pathologist has examined it. I asked him if I would have to have chemo or radiation. Since I am having a mastectomy, I don't need the radiation but may need chemo.

About the other breast, he found some issues but found no evidence of cancer. He said that my right breast will need to be watched closely. As this is exactly what I was told about my left breast four years ago, this bothered me.

I have an appointment with oncology on Monday to try to help me decide if I should have a double mastectomy. I really don't want to be going down this road again in three or four years.

The other decision that I need to make is what kind of reconstruction to have. I have an appointment on the 17th to look at pictures of Dr. Boustred's work. I hope that this will cement in my mind the kind of reconstruction I want to have.

Both of these decisions need to be made before scheduling the surgery because this will affect the length of the surgery.

Thank you all for listening...and for being so encouraging.

On a good note...I finished my Christmas shopping!!!

Specific prayer requests:

• Wisdom in making decisions this week
• Wisdom for the doctors as they map out a treatment plan
• Courage
• Peace
• Being able to move forward in confidence in the decisions made
• Being able to prioritize my life in a way that puts the most important things on top
• Peace and courage for my loved ones
• To continue to find joy and laughter in the small things
  

Hey all,

Thank you so much for listening. I'll try not to go off on any rabbit trails this time. Since the last time I posted something, I have had three appointments. I'm discovering that there are a lot of people who are trying to get in for their end of the year deductibles and every where you have to be patient and wait. I don't remember having prayed for my patience to be stretched...but there you go...it's stretching.

On Monday, I met my oncologist for the first time. Dr. Kanard is amazing and our personalities really clicked. I walked out feeling much more positive about the situation. She said that she was very confident that I am in stage 0 and that I won't have any trouble. If the surgery reveals no surprises, I shouldn't have to have chemo or radiation. There is a medication that I might have to take for five years, which I guess is a form of chemo, but a mild form. I know that there is that "if there are no surprises" in there, but I am cautiously optimistic.

The next day I woke up feeling really upbeat and the feeling continued through the MRI. (I think that a man must have designed the table I had to lay on. Anyone out there had an MRI of the breast? Also, the biopsy table...blah) Anyway, I was hoping to hear the results sometime yesterday, but as of this morning, I haven't had any news. This makes me anxious and my thoughts go places they shouldn't right now. But the reality is, they are just plan busy.

Then Jim and I had an hour break between visits. We had some lunch, and Jim laid down for a few minutes. We are both so tired, sleep doesn't come easy these days. Then we were off to see the plastic surgeon.

The surgeon, Dr. Dickinson and my oncologist both highly recommended my plastic surgeon. After waiting till almost 5 to see him, I was afraid that he might rush through the visit. Dr. Boustred spent over an hour going over each procedure with me. I basically will have three different options.

It's really difficult knowing that my breast will be gone. I cannot express how deeply this grieves me. I will be having it reconstructed, but it will never be the same. I've been cautioned over and over that it will not look like a real breast and it will be totally numb for the duration of my life. I don't know when in this process that I started thinking of my breast as an individual, but it feels like I'm loosing an old friend. I'm sad to loose it, but more than that, I want to live.

Anyway, I walked out of his office feeling down. There wasn't anything said that I didn't already know. After all, I have been researching this stuff for days. It's just with each step in the process, it makes it more real.

Specific prayer requests:

• I would continue to laugh and find joy in the small things
• Find peace in this situation
• Have courage
• Wisdom in choosing right reconstruction surgery for me
• Wisdom for the doctors
• If there is cancer in the right breast, they would find it
• Peace for our family
  

Kathy

Dear friends and family,

This week has had a lot of ups and downs. I can hardly believe that so much has happened in such a few, very long days.

After having a breast biopsy last week, I was diagnosed with breast cancer on Tuesday. What an awful word. It sticks to your tongue and turns your stomach inside out as you try to tell your loved ones. How can one word be so life changing, so painful, and so frightening?

So far this week I have developed a nice sized stack of paper work, pamphlets, and several phone numbers for all kinds of different doctors. This is something that I need to sit down and spend time organizing. I'm already loosing track of who is who.

My last doctor visit of the week was yesterday with Dr. Dickinson, who is going to be my surgeon. After a long talk with him, it became apparent that I should have a mastectomy. The doctor is leaving the choice up to me, but the cancer is extensively dispersed. In spite of this bad news, there is good news. At this time, it is believed that the caner is in stage 0. This won't be known for sure until after the surgery, when the pathology report is completed.

On Monday I will be seeing my oncologist to discuss the plan for drug therapy. On Tuesday, I have an MRI to check the other breast, as it is having some of the same issues. Then I will be seeing a plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction. I don't know how many times I will have to meet with each doctor before the surgery.

It is believed that I will be having surgery early to mid January.

I have spent two days researching different options for surgery, drug therapy, and reconstruction surgery. By the end of the second day I went to bed and wept while my wonderful husband held me with feelings of helplessness. What can I do, but get up the next morning and suck it up and continue to climb up the mountain. The option is unthinkable.

I have some specific prayer requests:

• Wisdom for all of the doctors
• If there is also cancer in my right breast, that they would find it. If not, peace.
• Strength for my family and myself
• courage
• Wisdom in choosing the right surgery, reconstruction, drug therapy
• That I could find laughter and joy in the small things