Hey all,

Thank you so much for listening. I'll try not to go off on any rabbit trails this time. Since the last time I posted something, I have had three appointments. I'm discovering that there are a lot of people who are trying to get in for their end of the year deductibles and every where you have to be patient and wait. I don't remember having prayed for my patience to be stretched...but there you go...it's stretching.

On Monday, I met my oncologist for the first time. Dr. Kanard is amazing and our personalities really clicked. I walked out feeling much more positive about the situation. She said that she was very confident that I am in stage 0 and that I won't have any trouble. If the surgery reveals no surprises, I shouldn't have to have chemo or radiation. There is a medication that I might have to take for five years, which I guess is a form of chemo, but a mild form. I know that there is that "if there are no surprises" in there, but I am cautiously optimistic.

The next day I woke up feeling really upbeat and the feeling continued through the MRI. (I think that a man must have designed the table I had to lay on. Anyone out there had an MRI of the breast? Also, the biopsy table...blah) Anyway, I was hoping to hear the results sometime yesterday, but as of this morning, I haven't had any news. This makes me anxious and my thoughts go places they shouldn't right now. But the reality is, they are just plan busy.

Then Jim and I had an hour break between visits. We had some lunch, and Jim laid down for a few minutes. We are both so tired, sleep doesn't come easy these days. Then we were off to see the plastic surgeon.

The surgeon, Dr. Dickinson and my oncologist both highly recommended my plastic surgeon. After waiting till almost 5 to see him, I was afraid that he might rush through the visit. Dr. Boustred spent over an hour going over each procedure with me. I basically will have three different options.

It's really difficult knowing that my breast will be gone. I cannot express how deeply this grieves me. I will be having it reconstructed, but it will never be the same. I've been cautioned over and over that it will not look like a real breast and it will be totally numb for the duration of my life. I don't know when in this process that I started thinking of my breast as an individual, but it feels like I'm loosing an old friend. I'm sad to loose it, but more than that, I want to live.

Anyway, I walked out of his office feeling down. There wasn't anything said that I didn't already know. After all, I have been researching this stuff for days. It's just with each step in the process, it makes it more real.

Specific prayer requests:

• I would continue to laugh and find joy in the small things
• Find peace in this situation
• Have courage
• Wisdom in choosing right reconstruction surgery for me
• Wisdom for the doctors
• If there is cancer in the right breast, they would find it
• Peace for our family
  

Kathy